My hair is falling out by handfuls.

Long story short, I’m a stay at home mom of a 15m old. My fiancé died and we were left with nothing but heartache. His family won’t acknowledge us. I’m living with my mom.

I need my own place. My mom is having mental complications of her own (saying my sons diaper is about to soak through his diaper - when it’s completely dry. Getting angry with me when he cries. Shaming me for how I parent even though I’m taking the advice I got from his doctor and the two parenting programs I’m in.)

I WANT to work, but I have crippling anxiety on top of autism. I was even told that with the way my brain is wired, I couldn’t work. Of course social security doesn’t see it that way if you are under the age of 35. I take very good care of my son though.

I still have another 8-12 months for my hearing.

But I need my own place. Idk what to do. I can’t afford daycare. I can’t talk on the phone unles it’s an emergency of course. (my brain completely blanks out)

Sometimes I wish it was me instead of him.