He’s moving back

So, I divorced my ex husband before my daughter was 2. Within a week of our divorce being final, he moved 10 hours away. The only time he saw her was for a few days at thanksgiving each year, and they FaceTime. I have since remarried and my daughter refers to my husband as Daddy. They have the real “father daughter bond”. She has only seen her biological dad for a total of about 14 days since he moved in October 2017.

He called me last night and said that he’s thinking about moving back. I was a little irritated, thinking like “oh now that we finally have a good life you decide you want to be present”. But that’s not at all the situation.

HE IS TALKING TO SOMEBODY. He’s not moving back for his daughter- he’s moving back because he MIGHT start dating this woman. This woman whose husband just left her about 4 months ago and she has 6 kids.

He said he’s not worried about our custody agreement, where he gets her every other weekend. He says he’d be happy to “babysit if we ever needed a break or wanted to go on a date night”. My husband and I haven’t had but 2 date nights since we got married, and that’s totally fine with us. Even if we did need a babysitter, I can think of 4 people off the top of my head for us to call.

Our lives are finally settled, I’m almost done with college, I’m pregnant, and my daughter is starting school this fall. My husband and I have made sure she has a structured home life, which is the exact opposite of what he offers. He is willing to leave his job- the first job he’s been able to actually hold down for more than a few weeks since before she was ever even born. He’s willing to leave this job to move ten hours away and come back here for the possibility of a relationship.

I don’t know what to do. 😩 when he left the first time, she was so young it didn’t matter. Their relationship is basically FaceTime and seeing each other for a few days once a year. If he comes here, then moved away again, she is old enough now that she would notice and be hurt by it.