My first breakup


My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 great years. Recently, I wanted a break from my boyfriend because I wanted him to realize how much he missed me and needed me since we go to different colleges and haven’t seen each other for weeks. Any time I’d ask him he’d have something to say that caused him not to make the trip to me. He wouldn’t let me make the trip out to see him. Then I changed my mind and decided to be happy with what we had. I realize now that I should’ve been happy with what we had but I think that him breaking up with me would be inevitable. His reasons for a breakup:

1) “you need to stop putting me before yourself”

2) “learn to love yourself”

3) “i need to reflect on how I’ve been treating you”

4) “and both of us need to learn to be alone. We need to learn how we are without each other”

It’s been a week since we’ve talked and it’s been the hardest. He is truly my best friend and love of my life. I don’t really know what to do about this breakup because I’m supposed to see him in 16 days to fly back home together but im not sure how i will feel once I see him in person. Idk what will happen then because to him, seeing me after close to a month of no communication, will help the both of us with making our relationship stronger. I feel like things would be awkward and strange since we’ve basically been pushing ourselves to live without the other. Any advice on what I should do or how to keep myself distracted? I really love him. But I also feel like the more we push each other away, the less likely we are to find each other again and find that strong love we once had. Please help. Also if anyone has been through a breakup and got back with the person, how much did the relationship change? Any advice is appreciated <33