My husband has full custody of his kids. Before we got custody they had extreme attitudes constantly, acted older than they were, rude so forth. As soon as they started staying with us it was a 180. Absolutely amazing change in all aspects. Even their schooling has been better. However, each time they visit their mom, every other weekend/holidays/summer, my step son comes back with a HORRIBLE attitude and is a different kid. He’s 13. When he’s here he doesn’t argue, does what we ask, is extremely nice and respectful, it’s mind blowing the change in him. When he’s at his moms he’s disrespectful to her, talks to her SO differently than he does us (By looking at his text messages), horribly mean to his sister, and comes back with all of this. We’ve talked to them about it. My step daughter had this problem and it stopped after we talked. Typically it does go away after 2-3 days but this time it’s been bad. They’ve been there 2 weekends in a row due to their mom missing a weekend. His sister said he was rude all weekend to everyone and they stayed with friends mostly, hardly at their moms (this is typical). While at his moms he disobeyed us by using too much data on his phone so I shut it off. When he came home his phone was completely cracked. We grounded him. I shut his phone off and put it in my underwear drawer. Got home from a prenatal appointment later than usual and his phone was plugged in my room and turned on. We confronted him and he denied it over and over and finally confessed. Obviously we’re handling that, but he’s NEVER does this before. Should my husband talk to their mom about the issues we have when they come back? Its literally the only time they’re like this. But I know it’ll be a fight and she’ll get pissed. But it’s getting exhausting.