Feeling like a fat emotional imposter

I know it’s normal but at 21 weeks I feel sooo big. I feel like I look fat not pregnant, even though part of me knows that’s not the case. My doc said I only gained 13lbs but I know that I actually gained 17 since I was weighing myself pre-pregnancy and they first weighed me at 9 weeks. Again, part of me beats myself up for thinking this because my docs say I’m fine but I just feel shitty and gross.

I also feel like an imposter, like I’m not really pregnant. Again, I obviously know that’s not true but I’m just so shocked by it sometimes. I tried for this baby, it wasn’t even an accident so I don’t really get why it’s been so hard to really sink in.

On top of just feeling fat and trying to truly accept that I’m pregnant, I feel like an imposter wearing maternity clothes. I’m down with the pants (they are a godsend) but the cute shirts that accentuate your stomach, I just feel weird in. Like it’s not a bump it’s just chub and since I’m not really pregnant (I mean I’m only 21 weeks 🙄🤦🏽‍♀️), I don’t deserve to wear maternity shirts. But all my clothes are too short and I look terrible (or at least feel terrible) in them. I think I’m also self-conscious of people at work staring at me and my bump, even if they know it’s a baby bump.

Anyone feeling any of these feelings? I’m hoping they all go away as I get more pregnant... I just feel like emotions hit me hard today. I’ve been on the verge of tears so often lately. I feel like I’m normally such a rational person but I’ve been so emotional lately it’s hard to think straight on some of these things 🙄