So little back story- From the ages of like 6 to 13 I did this camp thing that was basically just a bunch of dads and their daughters from the area going and doing camp outs on special weekends, or other daddy daughter events. Since all of us girls were around the same ages we all got pretty close with each other.

There was about maybe 14 or 15 of us dads and daughters at one point(the numbers went down as time went on though) but normally only 7 or 8 would show up to camp outs, and this one girl and I got closer to each other more then some of the other girls because we were both more of the quieter types, and I think that’s why we hung out more.

Well about a year or so past and her and her dad stopped coming to events and I never knew why but I always missed her or hanging out with her during those times and it was honestly harder to click with the some of other girls because they had and close bond that was hard to break. (Also the dads were really the only ones in contact with each other but never us girls because we were so young and didn’t have phones or anything like that yet.)

Well years later I found out why they stopped coming was because her mom was super depressed and wanted to end her own life, but wanted to take her husband with her. He is a cop so he had like a off duty gun or something like that and she got a hold of it and shot him then herself. She died but he lived and they ran a big farm and there were like 6 or 7 kids that they had(including my friend) so he never had time to separately take her to these events. (Instead of call my friend “her”, I’m going to call her Claire from now on.)

So since Claire and her dad stopped coming because of that reason, my dad never told me because I was only like 8 or 9 Max? And he definitely wasn’t going to share that with me. But since I learned that, even though I hadn’t spoken to her since we were kids, I felt so sorry for her and wish there would have been some way to stay friends with her back then, but not knowing the reason why they stopped coming, I brushed it off since so many others would do that(unfortunately).

Well it’s been about 10 or more years since I’ve seen Claire, and I happened to be visiting my grandparents(or specifically my dads parents) and they live pretty far out in the country, so you have to drive like 20 minutes to enter the edge of town but takes another 15 to 20 minutes to get to any restaurant/fast food place, grocery store, gas station etc.

I was at this mom and pop place getting some lunch for my grandparents, my dad and I when I thought I heard my name being said in the small restaurant. but I have a unique name that kind of sounds like a common name so I always brush off whatever I think I hear it out in public.

Well I hear it again, and ignore it then I hear a nickname only my family calls me when they’re trying to get my attention. So I look around looking for a familiar face and don’t see anyone, until my eyes land on a girl with blonde and blue streaks in her hair, smiling at me and walking towards me.

I was trying to figure out who she was all the way up until she got up to right where I was standing and she awkwardly asked if I remembered her or not. I shook my head And politely said no, but I knew we had met before because she knew that nickname. And after 10 years of not seeing each other at all went by, there Claire was standing right in front of me again, so much more mature looking, but with the same type of glasses she had back when we were kids.

I remembered her after she said we did the camp thing together and said her name again(but I knew who she was when she mentioned camp) and I immediately went out to give her a hug(I’m a natural hugger) but moved back because I know not everyone is comfortable with being hugged or touched, but she immediately put her arms out and so it was like a okay to hug her. But unlike when we were kids and the same height, she is now about 4 or 5 inches taller than me(I’m 5’0 so almost everyone is taller than me) so I had to stand on my tip toes a bit to hug her so she didn’t have to bend down as much.

We just started talking a little bit and was barely done explaining why I was all the way out there and asking if that’s where she lives now, until I got a call from my dad asking where I was and if I got lost or something, so I had to say goodbye to her to get the food back to everyone,but we swapped numbers and later that night I called her and we talked for 5 hours but it honestly only felt like maybe 30 minutes? I’ve NEVER talked with someone that long on the phone before and it honestly felt great!

We talked about how our lives had been, what was currently going on in our lives, how both of our families are doing and so many more topics. And we’ve been talking for 6 months now and we talk almost every other day via text and talk to each other at least twice every week on FaceTime, and try to see each other three times a month since she only lives 2 hours away from me(it’s harder to see her with the way her job is, otherwise I think I’d be meeting up with her way more)

And while getting to know her again that first day after so long, I found out she had a daughter and she’s 5 years old. Claire was married but figured out she was actually a lesbian and broke it off with her husband instead of hiding that part of herself from him.

We’ll I’m Bi and honestly think I’m really starting to fall deeply in love with her. I think about her all day and night, wonder how her day is going if we don’t get a chance to talk that day, love hearing her laugh and seeing her beautiful smile, I love hearing her voice too and get so happy when I see a text from her, I absolutely adore her daughter and love spending time with her too and a lot of other things that I won’t put because I could keep going on.

But I can’t tell if she feels the same. I mean, there’s been a few things I’ve noticed with her that could be signs she’s maybe feelin’ something too, but I just don’t know! And I don’t want to maybe tell her and possibly ruin our friendship that we’ve created again after so long.

It’s frustrating because I adore her so much but don’t want to ruin anything because I can’t imagine her not being in my life anymore.

I just hope I get some type of sign from the universe soon that will tell me if she feels the same and I have a chance to tell her how I’m feeling towards her.

Also please don’t hate on me if you don’t accept LGBTQ+ people or this situation I’m in. Thank you..