Manipulative Suicidal marine boyfriend

Hey guys....

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 3 years.

Over this course of three years I have realized that he has been emotionally abusive and manipulative towards me. He says mean things and tells me it’s constructive criticism. For example I told him my biggest fear was being just like my mom. In our arguments he would use that against me and tell me I’m just like her. I’ve also told him a few of my other fears. I told him I felt like I was depressed and afterwards he cheated on me by texting other girls online and told me I’m so boring and depressing. Ive told him I’m shy around his family because I love them so hard and wish they were my actual family Which after that we got into an argument and he told me I need to stop acting like I’m part of his family. Recently I have told him that I have actually been diagnosed with severe depression and schedule to get therapy. He’s been going to therapy himself so I thought he would be more supportive but all he does is throw up in my face how I’m so sad and depressed. I have been trying to break up with him for a bit now (since after I found out about him cheating on me in November of 2019) which he begs and always tells me I’m giving up on him if I do. This week I have been on edge as my grandma was rushed to the hospital with liver failure and suspicions of having the corona virus, work being stressful, and in top of that I got into a huge fight with my sister. Today my boyfriend threw up in my face how AGAIN how I’m like my mom and how I’m depressing so I told him I’m done. I hung up on him and told him how I’m tired of him taking the personal things I tell him to make me feel like crap. He told me he didn’t care that I was done that he was going to come pick me up on Thursday. I told him I’m being serious and that I don’t want to see him on Thursday. He then tells me he’s going to blow his f*cking brains out if I don’t see him Thursday and if I leave him. I called him back and told him he can’t keep saying threatening things like that and he tells me “why do you care what happens to me” I just can’t take this anymore. i haven’t been sleeping already because of my anxiety with my family and life. Being diagnosed with severe depression has been super stressful. And now I’m feeling suffocated and scared that my bf is going to kill himself and blame me or do it in front of me and I just don’t know what to do. I’m so scared. I just never thought things would get to this.