I Wasn't Ready *Kevin Heart voice* lol

So before I got pregnant, I would tell my partner that I would want an at home water birth with a doula. We agreed that the first child would be at a hospital because he isn't good with blood and he literally panics about my safety through everything. He tries to stay strong, but in his mind, he is a huge panicker.

So, I found out I was pregnant in June. Due date March 15, 2020.

The entire pregnancy, I panicked about everything. I literally went into my doctor's appointments with at least 10 questions. At my 38 week ultrasound, they sent the notes late. I literally got them at my 38 week doctor's appointment two days later AFTER my appointment. I didn't have time to discuss it with my doctor due to work so I reviewed the notes later. In the notes, it stated that there was evidence of a nuchal chord (yes, I was the girl who posted about how panicked I was). I was set on not getting the epidural, but panicking about her chord, I wanted to make sure baby girl was safe.

At 38 weeks and 6 days my partner and I wanted to walk on a trail that was by my sister's house. We had to go to her house anyways to pick up some hand me downs that she wanted to gift my soon to come daughter (her daughter was born in January). After my legs started hurting from the walk, we decided to head back and head to my sister's house. We then go home and shower. We then do the do. After we do that, my stomach starts hurting. I thought nothing of it.

The next day, my stomach is still hurting. I still didn't think anything of it. I was always told that contractions feel like period cramps. My cramps felt more like when you drink too much water and then run, so I thought that they were Braxton Hicks. My stomach hurt all day. At my 38 week doctor's appointment, I was completely closed, no dilation and no effacement. So again, I thought nothing of it. I took a nap and it stopped hurting. When I woke up, my stomach started hurting again. I endured it until about 11pm. I just thought if I fell asleep I would be fine again. Well, my partner was concerned and put everything in the car and wanted us to go to the hospital. I caved and decided to go in.

We get to the hospital and the Braxton Hicks (I thought) were getting more intense. I still wanted a non-medicated vaginal birth at this time. They check me and say that I'm 3 cm dilated. I'm excited, but they send me home because my contractions were inconsistent.

We get home and my contractions start to become more intense. I'm doing everything from Lamaze class and am getting really excited, but my contractionsare hurting more and more. I draw myself a warm bath and that does not help at all. I just felt wet and in pain. I get out and take a shower which helped a little. I get out abd keep telling my partner " I'll just go to sleep and the pain will go away. When I wake up, we'll be ready for the hospital." NOPE. By 2am, the pain became crazy intense. My contractions were now 2 minutes apart. At this point, my body couldn't handle the pain. I was now throwing up and pooping everytime I would have a contraction.

My partner was literally doing everything he could to help me with pain and to not be so miserable. Once there was nothing else left in my body, I tried to lay back in the bed. My partner kept telling me it's time to go back to the hospital, but I didn't want to keep getting sent back home. I told my partner to just relax and try to sleep.

Not even 5 minutes later, I scream my partner's name. Why? Well, I finally lay in the bed and a contraction starts. At the same time, I have a freaking charlie horse throughout my entire left leg. Alright, baby its time.

We get to the hospital and I am still 3 cms, but my contractions are consistent and I'm 50% effaced so I'm admitted. I immediately ask for the epidural lol. They first give me oxygen and medicine through the Iv, but nothing is really helping until I get the epidural. The epidural was such a blessing. I still was at a 3 at around 8am so they start me on pitocin. By 10am, I am at a 7. I start to pass blood clots, so they stop the pitocin and break my waters. They weren't sure as to why I was passing clots (still unknown). By 1pm, I wasn't progressing so they started me back on pitocin. About a couple hours later, I felt this weird sensation in my butt. It wasn't a poop sensation, so they didn't think anything of it and they didn't check me until about 9:30pm. When they finally checked me, I was complete. The nurse has me practice push and her head is now right at my vagina. My partner can see her hair. The nurse tells me to stop pushing and goes to get the doctor. She comes back and tells me I have to wait because he has to deliver 3 other women before me, but she was willing to deliver my baby if she needed to. The doctor finally comes in. 5 contractions later, my baby girl was born. I had a second degree tear that needed one stich. Baby Girl was born March 9, 2020 at 10:03pm at 39 weeks 1 day weighing 5lbs 5oz.

I commend the women that have unmedicated vaginal births, home births, c sections, and more than one child. I don't think my baby girl will be having siblings lol