Husband and daughter

I really don’t know what to do anymore. We have an 11 year old and it seems more days than not once my husband is home from work it’s like he picks things to argue with her about. Tonight we were actually in line checking out and he starts on her about her shoes being dirty. I said this is not the place and he loudly says oh it’s not then where is. The guy in front of us turned around and looked at us. I’ve not been that embarrassed in a while. My heart hurts for our little girl. Nothing that she does is awful. Yeah she knows she shouldn’t get her new shoes dirty but when we have a muddy yard 24/7 it’s kinda hard not to. It gets so bad at times I do take up for her and then he starts yelling at me and tells me that he just won’t get on to her anymore and he tells her she can just do whatever she wants to from now on. I am far from perfect. I do yell and curse words do slip in from time to time but I don’t do this all the time. She is very respectful and does what I ask her to 95% of the time. He’s gone all day for work and seeing him pick fights with her when he gets home bothers me so much. I’ve tried talking to him about it and he just gets defensive. It’s a waste of time and just turns into arguing. I seriously don’t know what else to do. He’s not this way with our 8 year old boy. The nights he does this I can’t stand him and don’t want to be all lovey esp in the bedroom and then it really turns into him being a jerk. I hate feeling this way but her sweet soul being treated that way often kills me. Other than that he is a great dad. I just don’t know anymore.