Incurable cancer

About 3 weeks ago... going on four, we found out my husband has cancer.

Today we found out that it’s a VERY very rare cancer (as they put it) and it’s incurable.

I’m mostly feeling numb. Obviously sad but mostly numb.

We don’t know exact treatment plan yet because the oncologist wants to see how fast or slow growing the cancer is.

We have a 3 year old. I’m terrified thinking of the future, let alone the future without him 😭

This has all been so surreal, and now just feels like a nightmare.

For the longest time after having our daughter I didn’t want anymore kids, I just didn’t think I could handle it. I also had told him, let’s wait a few (like 5) years and maybe I’ll change my mind.

Then here we are today & they asked us if we wanted anymore kids bc the drug he’ll probably take will make him infertile. And if we did he could do a sperm bank.

He doesn’t want to because he said “why would I want another kid if I’m just going to die” 😭

That hit me when he said that because wtf am I going to do without him?! We don’t even know a survival rate of this cancer because it’s so rare. He said only 10 people a year get this kind.

It’s not curable because of the kind of sarcoma it is and the fact that it has spread.

Idk. I still feel like I’m in shock.

If you pray, please pray for him... for us. 💔