Was it difficult for you and your partner to pick a donor?

Question

I’m worried about picking a donor. It’s been a difficult for me (not so much my partner) we had a donor we loved, almost even paid for and realized a big thing we over looked(for us). We found someone else and now I kinda feel like we are settling. I keep telling myself to not stress it won’t be a big deal in the long run. You will love any baby you get. 
Im curious what was/was not a big deal for you and your partner? Did you have to try multiple donors? Sorry if these are personal. 
Also baby dust to all and hope everyone is staying safe! ✨✨

Answer

Difficulty in picking a donor was so so. We came across a lot of creeps who just wanted sex or some mentioned they wanted to do partial insemination only. Our main focus was trying to find someone who respected our decisions throughout the whole process. We weren’t picky on how they looked as race didn’t matter, but did want someone who was at least 5’10 or taller. Just someone who was well driven and how they were with their own family was what we were looking for. The first time we met face to face we instantly clicked with him and knew he was what we wanted. In the long run, no a lot of things don’t matter. What matters is you’re comfortable with them and he crosses of what matters to you. If you want to be pickier when it comes to choosing a donor that’s 100% fine.

Answer

My wife and I went through a sperm bank in Orange County and they have a “photo match” program. I’m a trans guy and it was important for me to have my child look at least somewhat like me. We were able to see our donors baby pictures and they were pretty similar to myself so we used that.

Answer

We had a few criteria that really mattered (decided these together) and the only real deal breakers were them being a carrier for certain inherited conditions. We just made a long list, then a short list and had 1st, 2nd and 3rd choice. We were happy with all three choices, so it didn’t really matter if our top choice was no longer an option.  We went through a bank recommended by our clinic though, so we had a very large volume of information about the prospective donors, which we preferred.

Answer

Totally agree with Courtney. It was also so so for us. There are a lot of creeps and people in it for the wrong reasons. I had a lot of donors back out (including one I personally knew that agreed), the ones that hurt the most were the ones that backed out on ovulation day. It can be a journey but there are good donors out there. My donor was someone I didn’t know from an app but when we met I knew it was meant to be, everything that happened led us to him, and god willed it to work out the first try. You have to keep positive and keep the faith when going through this journey. It can put a mental strain on you but once you find your donor you’ll know. Is there a reason you feel like your settling with this one in particular?

Was it difficult for you and your partner to pick a donor?

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