I’m so glad I left him. Even though his family loved me, even though we were so close to getting engaged (he even bought a ring). Even though we shared all our high school friends, all our memories, 4 years together, moved to a different city together to be with each other thru uni. Even though he looked so kind and caring, so emotional and thoughtful, so hardworking, everything I pictured for myself in that list I wrote years ago. But I’m so thankful I left.

Because I ALWAYS initiated sex. I always cleaned. I always did laundry. I was the one working at a full time office job and he would refuse to make dinner even after I had come home late from a 12 hour shift. Because we never fought... never even had an argument. Whenever I would get upset about something, he would bring up how his parents were never happy and to this day sleep in different rooms of the same house, and we could never be like that... effectively shutting me up with guilt. When he would go out for the weekend and stay over at a friends, I would feel nothing but relief.

When I told him I wanted to take a break, he was shocked. I cried... sobbed even. He said it was fine and he would give me all the time I needed, but we would get back together when the summer was over. It was almost a threat... like I only had 3 months to myself.

I moved out to the couch because I couldn’t handle being near him... I had never slept better.

A month passed and he told me his sister was asking about me, that his mom missed talking to me.

Two months passed, I met someone else. I was terrified and felt like my life was falling apart around me.

Three months passed, he came to me and told me my time was up. I was shaking as I told him that I was moving out with a friend, we were finished for good. Then came the tears... the crying and begging, the “but you never communicate with me, you’re not even trying, where is this even coming from?!”. And I didn’t answer. I was terrified of what he would say if I told him I wasn’t sure I had ever really loved him, so I lied. I told him I was struggling emotionally, that I needed to be alone for myself. I wish I had told him the truth.

4 years later now, I’m married to that other man I fell for. We have a baby boy... and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. We fight, we argue, we communicate, we laugh, we talk, we joke, we’re so similar that our friends say we’re the male and female copy of each other. It’s just so different and I’m so thankful that I found him.

My ex still talks about me. Still complains about everything I put him through to our old friends. Still says he did nothing wrong. Texts me every once in a while and tells me how much he misses me, how he’ll never love again, how me leaving made him an alcoholic and he has never been the same. Never had another girlfriend. Hasn’t changed since high school... and I’m so glad I got out.