Have you been shamed for not circumcising? How do you even respond?

Question

So I’m having a baby boy in August. I’d like to start off with, my whole family is circumcised. Also important to know, my family is SUPER ignorant, stubborn and not informed. They gave my daughter herpes after I repeatedly asked them not to kiss her. Their reasoning? Cold sores aren’t herpes. Even after I backed my facts up, they still refuse to believe and this is how they are with every topic. Anyways, my mom asked me if we’d get him circumcised in front of my whole family while we had dinner (this was months ago when we found out the gender lol don’t worry I’m quarantined) I told her absolutely not as I don’t believe in doing anything like that. She asked why and I told her because it is 100% unnecessary, has no health benefits and they are born this way so I will not change that. These are my beliefs and opinions with extensive research so don’t even think to try to “correct” me or take it offensive. Do whatever you want with your child’s penis lol idc. But family is very religious and constantly preach about not altering your body so you’d think they’d somewhat agree? Nope. They all laughed, MADE FUN OF MY UNBORN SON. Said he’ll be disgusting and have an ugly penis. My grandfather and dad got pissed, saying that he’s get “the disease” whatever tf that is. They all yelled and freaked. My mom told me she’d pay me to do it. I was actually pissed and super embarrassed. My boyfriend did stand up and say “it’s kinda weird that you’re all so interested in our sons penis.” That shut them up basically but I’m afraid of what to say when I see them again cause I know they’ll bring it up.. I’m just so upset that I can’t have my own opinions. I can’t have actual facts and proof from my doctor without them completely saying I’m wrong. And it has all resulted in years of harassment, abuse and herpes for myself and now toddler. I’m so beyond tired of this shit. They’ve always been abusive but I still need their approval to feel okay. How do you go about this girls? Cause I know we’ve all been shamed for something

Answer

They gave your daughter herpes because they ignored your "no kissing" rule and you're still speaking to them? That would have been the last time they ever heard from me if that had been me. 
This baby is my third boy. I don't believe in circumcision without a medical reason and most of the world doesn't either. I have never been shamed for that. And if I had been, I'd ignore it. And if they started making fun of my infant's body because I didn't cut a piece of him off, I would cut them out of my life. 
It sounds like you need to just stop speaking to these people. They're not good for your mental health and they won't be any good for the mind of a child either. They're mentally and emotionally abusing you.

Answer

I’m sorry honey... there are entire countries and cultures that don’t circumcise and as long as you teach your child proper hygiene, there’s nothing wrong about it. And as a women who’s been with “both types” of men, I never really did care. 
However keep in mind people always criticize/bully/shame and it definitely depends on culture, religion, country etc. For example the majority in my home country are not circumcised and boys would always make fun of the “cut” ones... :(

Answer

My mom was shamed for not getting my brothers circumcised literally by my aunt on my dads side who had no idea her 4 brothers weren’t circumcised either lol

Answer

Circumsizion isn't custom here, so nobody really cares to akes, it's assumed that unless you're strictly religious, it's not done...

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Its my first pregnancy and it’s a boy. I was dreading having a boy at first because I knew in my mind I didn’t want to circumcise and I knew how my family would react. My mom told me I NEED to circumcise him and she calls my son HER baby. Majority of my family is circumcised except for one boy, and when I asked their reasoning, it was either because “dad wanted their son to look like them”, “uncircumcised penises are gross”, or “just because that’s what you do.” My husband is circumcised and doesn’t want that for our son and I haven’t talked to my family about it since. I said if you don’t like how his penis looks don’t change his diapers and don’t ask me about it again. It’s really none of their business anyway but having people ask and then bash my decision pissed me offfff

Answer

I’ve been asked and I tell people to mind their business cause it’s not their penis to worry about. No one knows what my sons penis looks like but his father, me, my parents and his parents. No siblings of ours do. I see people being shamed for it and it’s ridiculous.

Answer

It’s YOUR son, you don’t owe anyone an explanation on why you’re not circumcising him. It wasn’t even their business anyways. Not their kid and definitely not their penis. Im glad your husband said something; thats exactly what I would’ve said! 
For them not to respect to not kiss your baby and give her herpes. I would’ve cut them off a long time ago. I never understand why people do the opposite of what the PARENTS say. Gets me mad. 
I’d for sure keep baby boy away and if people don’t respect what you say they can go. Just remember that family can also be toxic... so when you need to cut people off do it. And if they start with the negative comments, don’t let them finish..

Answer

Nothing wrong with uncircumcised males... nothing at all... hes your guys son. In the end it's his penis. But you guys are the parents. They gave your daughter herpes.. remember that...

Answer

Ugh that’s dumb. First off I’d like to note that my husband and I decided to circumcise our son (I’m noting this little fact because you should know that I respect your decision and nobody should judge you for doing what you feel is best for your child). Second, It’s your choice because you are the parents and thirdly, ITS NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS! If they bring it up again just tell them that when he’s old enough to make his own decisions and decides he wants to have the procedure done at an older age then he can do that. You can always take something away but you can never put it back. I had a friend in high school who chose to have the procedure done and he was very open and mature about it. Maybe let them know that until they can respect your decisions and boundaries they won’t be able to see your son when he’s born. I’d be livid that they were so careless about your daughter. Good luck.

Answer

They’re all gross and toxic..keep them away from your kids

Have you been shamed for not circumcising? How do you even respond?

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