I just have to get this off my chest.

This isolation stuff is really getting to me. Other than glow, I have no social media, no facebook, insta, Snapchat, nothing. My husband is an essential worker and doesn’t get home until about 8-9pm every night. He leaves around 5am in the morning. I have ZERO, and I mean

Z👏🏻E👏🏻R👏🏻O

adult conversation or contact. I get a peck on the cheek when he leaves and kiss goodnight. I am not mad at him at all, I understand he’s busy and tired and he’s great. Nonetheless, it fucking sucks. I miss him! I want to spend time with him. He’s literally all I have right now outside of my mom duties.

I love my children so much. They’re all a blessing and I couldn’t be more proud. I have an 8yo, 3yo, almost 2yo and a newborn. We’re 1.5 weeks out! 😍. However, my day starts about 4:30am. I get up with my husband to see him off to work, then its time to pump because baby is breastfed but isn’t latching well. So it’s pump and bottle. Then baby wakes up, and its diapers and feeding and cleaning up and once she goes to sleep I don’t have much time before the rest of the house wakes up. Once the rest of them wake up, the dogs want out and I can’t take the big dog out yet because I had a csection and I’m not released for stuff like that yet because he likes to pull. My poor 8yo tries to do it and its hard for me to ask him. It’s not his responsibility and I feel guilty.

My 2yo can climb out of her crib now, so she won’t go to bed at night and won’t take naps. The older two don’t take naps. My son has school we’re trying to do. I have more pumping to do and more diapers and my 2yo likes to poop then take her diaper off and not tell you. So, I get to play hide and seek with poop. It’s great. 🙄

I can’t leave the baby by herself for even a second or my 2 or 3yo are on her like it’s nobody’s business. I can’t clean my house like it needs to be because I’m supposed to be taking it easy.

I literally am going on day three without a shower because I can’t leave the baby alone. My husband isn’t home enough to be able to help out much (God love him) so, my plan was to wait until everyone was asleep tonight so I could FINALLY get a shower. But here it is almost midnight. I’ve been up since 4:30, my children are all currently on the couch with me because 2yo won’t stay in bed and I’m trying to keep them quiet so my husband can sleep for a few hours. So, no shower tonight either. I literally don’t know what to do!

I know, take the baby to the bathroom with you. My door doesn’t lock and they will just burst in and get to her anyway.

Which leads me to this: my children used to respect at least a little. They would listen to me most of the time. Now, they watch me and do what I am telling them not to. They do it on purpose, they tell me no, they yell at me. They’re all just completely disrespectful. I am at my wits end.

Honestly, I have hit rock bottom. I can’t shower, I can’t care for my children and home like I should, I have nobody to talk to. I can’t have someone come over and help because of this virus crap. I have no outlet. I get no respect. I don’t have my husband. I’m fed up with pumping. I don’t even want to do it anymore. I just want a clean home, my well behaved children back, a hot shower, and maybe 10 minutes of uninterrupted time with my husband.

Sorry, this was probably unclear and all over the place, but I feel a bit better anyway. I guess I’m just overwhelmed with this isolation stuff. It would be nice to just get out for a few minutes. That’s all I’ve got for now, I’ve got to go pump again. 🙄