THIS IS LONG ASF IM SORRY. My boyfriend is a Marine in the military. He is so sexy, so nice, intelligent, good hearted man. He’s 21 and he is very mature. He’s more experienced in dating more than me.

Yet I’m more wise and “experienced” in this relationship than him at this point. Let’s go from the beginning. We met in high school and he joined the military after. And we were just seeing how this relationship can work out. And yes, it worked out. He always visit me over the weekend and during Christmas break last year.

I’ve became more in love and more dedicated/motivated in this relationship. And he has too. But this year, his last visit was this February. And since then it’s been too see him because of the COVID-19. He’s quarantined at his base and so all the rest of the marines are quarantined. But of course, he can do stuff outside the base within 50 miles. So that gave me hope!

I’m a young adult, I thought to myself that I should go see him in VA. He is deploying this July and he was suppose to this may but since the delay I had a chance to see him one more time to reassure the relationship we have. So that we can be stable as he deploys overseas.

The problem is: he can’t communicate well as much I can. I told him. Communication is so important while being long distance, and he looked like he understood and he said he will try his best to communicate more. That was weeks ago.

I’ve been feeling more insecure and I was overthinking a LOT last night. Today is my birthday so it wasn’t a good start of my morning with bloated eyes haha 😂... I was thinking how he started to be less engaged and how I was being even more engaged. Trying to make this relationship work. I love him and he does too. He can’t show it but he always surprises me every time I see him. So I know it’s a temporary feeling of mine of being insecure and desperate.

But my instincts just tells me he’s less engaged and more playing video games. (PUBG) - I can see when he’s online. I texted him “are you busy?” I wanted to talk about how my day was crazy and everything that happened . But no answer. And I put “goodnight ❤️”... no answer. He hasn’t been able to say even good morning or Goodnight to me every I text it to him.

He acts like he’s so busy but I’ve seen him playing games and everything. It’s not hard to text it back and give me a reassurance that you at least care. I mentioned to him about my thoughts and was being very honest to how I felt when he can’t text back. And he said he will do better for me. And I said don’t worry about it because I know he’s stressed from work and he Ben said I stress him out besides work. And I told him I don’t want to stress him out. But in the other hand.

If I want to marry him and have kids, I don’t want to be his girl that just there and cause I just love you. I am more than a girlfriend. And I want to make sure he’s the one. And for me to know, I’m observing and evaluating his actions towards me and see if he’s up for this commitment. He needs to be on my level and understand that I push him to understand that this is not easy and fighting this love will take a lot. And to see if he’s worth my time or not.

Thanks for reading my mess.

Just wondering on your advice in this situation and how I should calm down or take this serious a little?

Any advice please I’ll listen too.