how to create stronger relationship?

Question

i had a crush on this guys for awhile, and we just started talking about ago, we started dating yesterday. i care about him a lot and don’t want to lose him. but i’m scared he doesn’t feel the same way and thinks this is just a temporary relationship.

Answer

you just started dating yesterday... did you no discuss what the relationship would mean? I think that's important before starting any relationship so you both are on the same page. take to him. thats the only way.

Answer

Exactly what the other person is saying, you need to talk to them and find out if you are on the same page. If you were going into this as a relationship and this person is going into it as a friends with benefits, you are clearly not on the same page and want different things. I’m guessing you are young and I’m guessing this guy probably isn’t looking for marriage anytime soon, so don’t even have that on your plate as an option or kids. But it is important to know anytime you get into a relationship with a person, what their intentions are. If they do want to get married in the future or have children, some people don’t and some people do and if that something that you want, you need to know ahead of time. I’m 41 and the man that I am with now had a vasectomy years ago because he already has kids. Now if I was someone who wanted kids, that would probably be an issue. And I would not be with that person. But it’s important to know that in the beginning. Personally I see it as a good thing that he had a vasectomy, I don’t have to worry about pregnancy scares, I still make him wear a condom because of diseases and infections Andre knows that I’m trying to be preventative of them and he understands that we do not have sex if he does not wear a condom. I also told him on day one, that I do not do hook ups or friends with benefits that I am a relationship girl.  I said I do not bother or waste my time, he said OK we are girlfriend and boyfriend right now. He’s liked me for a couple of years and that’s what he wanted and we agreed on. A guy who makes the effort and is consistent daily is the kind of person you want to look for not someone who ignores you because he’s messing with other girls or is playing video games all day and ignores you. You need to be a priority. Not a back up plan whenever he’s not getting sex from someone else or hanging out with his friends or playing video games and you are a back up plan when he is bored or not occupied on someone else. That he understands that effort and consistency are very important in a relationship. And that if he stops trying, so do you, do not chase after a man or make all the effort and sacrifices, it is draining and you deserve better. You need to see where this guy is, if he is in the hook up frame of mind or friends with benefits or a relationship. If you are going to engage in sex, please get on birth control and use condoms because if one fails the other is a back up and then you don’t have to have anxiety of pregnancy scares. Plan b is not meant to used as a form of birth control, it is for emergencies only and can really mess up your system. My guy can’t climax with a condom on. I don’t care we do not have sex without it one on, my health is more important he can climax from oral sex instead. Be smart and be safe. The first step is finding out if you are on the same page. The second is communication. Talk about everything. Your past,  you family, favorite things, find things in common and bond over that.  ￼￼￼being open and vulnerable over life experiences and being there in difficult times brings you closer to each other. Things are still new, it will take time. Get to know each other. Find out his flaws. What you can and can’t tolerate. My guy knows that I do not play when it comes to cheating. I told him do not cheat, just leave and if I find out you cheated I will castrate you and I’m not playing. I asked him if he was jealous or possessive or controlling. He admitted he can be jealous at times. I said is it going to be a problem because I get hit on a lot and have nothing but male friends. I said my best friend is a very good looking guy, are you going to be ok with that or is this going to be a problem. I told him about my past of abuse and sexual assault etc. that man is the most patient and understanding man that I have ever met. He does not pressure or force me to do anything and any physical touch comes from me or sexual acts. He is so respectful. He knows that I do not tolerate lying cheating etc. we talked about porn we talked about everything. What I consider cheating and what I do not. He knows that I require marriage at some point. Having Kids are not a priority to me due to blood disorder and 2 previous miscarriages. If they happen they happen, if not that’s fine. Its Not a requirement of mine.  Sweetie you are young. Take it slow. Get to know him. And that’s how you bond and find out if this person is worthy of your time. If he’s a jerk or abusive or controlling etc. I’m not encouraging you to have sex, but it is better to be informed than clueless and in trouble later. Be smart and be safe and good luck.

how to create stronger relationship?

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