My childhood abuse might be effecting my marriage

Okay so when I was 7 years old I was forced to give a blow job to my 17 year old cousin in front of my other cousin who was 13 in the room also. Okay so I lived in long branch New Jersey during that time I was 7 years old and now I’m 21 years old. I lived there and moved at age 8 to union city New Jersey. So the first time the two of them were in my room they are brothers and all of a sudden the older one the 17 year old unbuttoned his pants and I was really scared because I had never seen a penis before in my life so I front of his brother in my room his brother was using the laptop and he told me open your mouth and don’t tell know one and his brother was like what are you doing. So from there one his other brother his younger brother just touched me threw my panties and got on top of me and made me perform oral sex on him too and dry hump me threw clothes. After that I began masturbating at a young age at age 8 yes it was young and I felt really bad. I then moved with other family to a different city. Never saw them again in my life they have kids already and I heard to one of there daughters happend the same thing. They have moved on and have had kids. So I dated my now husband for 4 years and have been married for a year. I masturbate a lot I lost my virginity at a young age at age 13 and had multiple sex partners since that age until I settled down with my now husband I met up with guys and barely used protection. So now I’m having problems in sex in my marriage because I like sex a lot and would like it to be every day like before but he settled down and we do it only like twice a week. Also when I give him a blow job I feel so bad really bad and embarrassed 😞 like I feel like I can’t even look at him and sometimes after sex I enjoy it and wish we could have sex all the time I wish we could make love all day but sometimes after sex I’m really happy and lay down on his chest and sometimes I feel really embarrassed that I hide under the covers and he asks me why I hide under the covers. I just told my family about it my mom and grandma but not my husband