Need some encouragement ...

5 years with my ex, planned marriage, TTC, etc. he told me out of the blue he didn’t want me anymore. Literally the same day I got my negative test from TTC. We were on & off. We still lived together (this all happened our last month of lease) and we ended up getting pregnant. I’m 14 weeks. He’s done so much... emotionally cheating, lying, social media issues, emotional abuse... etc etc. he says he doesn’t love me anymore, but maybe we can reconcile in the future. I’ve stayed through all of this because I know he loves me, & despite whatever he’s going thru I know he will regret this.. but honestly I can’t stay anymore. I’ve been so worried about raising a baby without him by my side, he will be there for the baby, but I really wanted him there for me too.. since I love him so much & would love his emotional love & care. But I’m just not getting it & it hurts so much more being here & being neglected. A few months ago my life was perfect, getting married, TTC, great job, new city, working towards a house, s man who loved me. & now I have no job due to this virus. No money income, didn’t get a stimulus check, not a dollar to my name. I’ll have to move back in with my mom and her boyfriend in a full house... I’ll have a small room. It hurts to know I won’t have my own space & independence after years of it. I won’t have a nursery, won’t have my ex by my side at all times, won’t have this or that. & it scares the he’ll out of me. But I’ve decided I’ll file unemployment, work my ass off to get a job despite being pregnant, I had one lined up before this virus, & hoping my pregnancy won’t matter. I’ll save as much money as I can .. my mom will help. I’ll work on my mental health. I’ll save up to get my own place within the first year... move back to my old city (not my hometown) find a job in childcare like I love! And find my self worth & work on myself & my baby. I want someone to love me, & make me feel loved. I can’t stay knowing I’m just depressed everyday wishing he gave me what I needed. So here’s to positive thinking, here’s to gaining some self worth, even if it just starts off as a spec(: let’s hope I can do this... ❤️