How do you and your so resolve conflict ?

Hi ladies, how do you and your so resolve conflict ?

I’ve been with my hubby for almost 9 yrs, married for 6. In the earlier yrs I found myself so miserable because I wanted change and nothing was changing. More and more I became so unhappy because I was very disappointed to what I thought our relationship should be. I am 28 yrs now and the past yr I’ve found happiness and our relationship is much better. I realize I need to focus on my happiness and not wait for him to make me happy. I realized him making me happy is just extra. In our misunderstandings thou I’ve also started letting go of most of it because the older I get I just see how pointless these arguments are or used to be. We fight way less, and even after we argue I bounce back very quickly when before I would be pissed for sometime. Also I’ve noticed my happiness is motivating my hubby to be a better person. Does anyone will this way? Do you pick your arguments ? Are you easily passed? Do you talk out each argument.. I don’t know what I’m writing here lol, what do you think?