Can’t lose weight in my stomach and weigh so much but it doesn’t add up to my sizes

I can’t believe I’m actually writing this but I’m just so insecure and confused and everything. My whole life I’ve been super athletic. I played sports my whole life through college and in college I got a permanent Arm injury that ended my sport career. It was so sad and I went through a depression where I didn’t want to do anything. I gained 30 lbs. my highest weight was 192 lbs. so humiliating but in high school I was 150-160 lbs but pure muscle. I’m still a lot of muscle. My legs are solid rocks so I don’t know why all my weight gained in my stomach. I’m currently 182 lbs. I’ve been eating healthy for 9 months and have barely lost any weight. I’m a 36J cup so my boobs do have a lot to do with my insecurities as well since all my shirts have to be size L but my jean size is a size 4! I just don’t understand how I can be 182 lbs and be a size 4 it doesn’t make sense. I have hips and a butt so I’m just so confused on what to do. I run and eat healthy and nothing seems to be working. Any advice? Also 5’5” so healthy Weight would be 135. My BMI is 30