Not ready?

Hi all, I’m not sure where to post this so I’m sorry if it’s in the wrong group. I’ve been taking cheapy pregnancy tests all week and been getting faint lines. This morning was the strongest I’ve seen so I’m assuming I’m pregnant now. We’ve been trying for a few months. However, instead of being excited, I’m now freaking out that we aren’t ready, thinking that I still want just “us” time, thinking we will miss the “relaxed” lifestyle we have now compared to friends with kids, etc. I feel like I want more time just to be able to hang out as a married couple on evenings doing whatever we please (aka Netflix and dinner type of thing). We’ve been married since last summer but been together 10 years. I’ve also now started freaking out because I did a due date calculator which shows I would be due early January... I feel like I don’t want a January baby. No one will come to their birthday parties with it being after Christmas/New Years, and everyone will always be tired of celebrating from the holiday season. I don’t know how to make myself feel excited like everyone else 😔. Thennnn I feel bad about feeling this way and already feel like I’m being a bad mom!