How should I cope?

For a while now, I’ve been wanting a child. But i know better than to bring one into the world when me and my husband aren’t ready, so we were planning it.. well, not to long ago I went to the ER and found out I had a kidney infection. More results came in last night.. turns out, they couldn’t find a left ovary.. meaning I don’t have one.. and I only have a 50% chance of having a child. It’s heartbreaking and I cried so hard. Being billed for over $4,000 that I can’t pay didn’t help either.. all this, 2 days before my birthday.. it’s been a horrible week.. I suck at coping and for years my coping methods were self harm but I’m determined not to fall back into it as I’m almost a year clean, farthest I’ve made it. I just don’t know how to do it.. my sister in law is pregnant with her 2nd child, my cousin is pregnant, another cousin, one of my friends.. it’s just all so hard right now... does anyone have any advice? My year is now complete shit as I can’t do what I had planned this year because I’m going to be paying off all these hospital bills that I’ve gotten over the last few months.. I don’t know what to do anymore..