“Treat them mean to keep them keen” - normalises abuse?

Question

I remember hearing this phrase if I reported a boy in my school “being mean” to me and being told “it’s because he likes you”
Does this normalise abuse? Do you think you would tell your own daughter this?
Discuss!

Accepted Answer

I would never tell my daughter or any of my children that.

Answer

The boys raised to be mean to girls in school to show affection are the same men, today, who call women bitches for saying something mean to them

Answer

I voted wrong, you dont normalize abuse thats why people accept abuse as being ok and normal and why so many people dont think a lot of abuse is abuse

Answer

I think that kind of thinking does normalize abuse. My parents never justified things like this from what I remember. Luckily at my school, teachers weren’t making these kinds of excuses either. They would talk to the students involved, get the story as best they could and proceed with discipline. As it should be! Children need to be taught about the healthy ways to express frustrations and other emotions. But then again there are grown ass men advocating for “negging” to get girls to like them 🙄

Answer

I would not teach this kind of gross thinking to any child, male or female. When I was in kindergarten and grade one, I loved wearing dresses, but I grew to hate wearing them in public for a long time after that because the boys tormented me at recess by trapping me by the fence and throwing my skirts up over my head. It was humiliating and I came to hate recess too. The boys didn't like me, they liked watching me squirm. It was just mean. We all grew up eventually and moved on, but the memory stays with me. Being mean is not an indication of interest or kind feelings. It's an exhibition of insecurity and bullying tendencies. No one needs to be taught that it's okay to behave that way or that they have to put up with others doing it to them.

Answer

It normalizes, abuse, harassment, no consequences for inappropriate actions, and a whole host of other shit. 
When I was being verbally bullied- It was because they liked me. 
When it became physical- it was because they liked me. 
When it escalated even farther, it was because they liked me. 
When I slapped them with ROs and harassment causing bodily harm charges, it sunk in how it wasn’t because they “liked me” it was because they were entitled assholes who thought they could get away with it.

Answer

Yes it normalizes abuse. 
So does “boys will be boys” 
It’s never ok to actively be mean people. Even as adults we should know this (even though I can be mean sometimes) 
If u like someone u tell them and be respectful , if u don’t like them u tell them and leave them alone. 
One thing I vow I will never stand for is being emotionally ignorant. I will 100% be teaching my kids to voice their emotions properly rather than accepting emotional ignorance

Answer

I’m so glad I’ve never heard this before. My children will know that harassment and abuse is not love.

Answer

It normalises abuse and bullying. I remember when I was in high school (I was 12 or 12) and a boy was making fun of how I looked & how I talked, and the teacher started teasing us for ‘flirting’ in front of the whole class which was super fucking embarrassing 🙂

Answer

I remember being in kindergarten and this little boy took my jump rope. I was pissed. I chased him up the jungle gym to get it and he wouldn’t give it back so I pushed him off. 
The teacher told me that he was mean to me cause he liked me. I was 5 and I still remember feeling confused cause you don’t act that way if you like someone. Also boys were very icky then.

“Treat them mean to keep them keen” - normalises abuse?

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey