Would you be upset..?

Question

If your bf said that he thought that if y’all got divorced and the kids had to choose which parent to go with, they’d all pick him over you cuz you’d be too strict and not as much fun. Basically like they’d love him slightly more because he’d be more easy going. He basically made me feel like he thinks I’d be a bad mom to my kids and they’d wanna leave me if given the choice. 
Like he already said that he would never make his kids study on the weekends (which I 💯 disagree with). I said “well if they have a test on Monday, they are gonna study for it on the weekend.” And he said “no they can briefly go over it Sunday night.”
I’m just feeling some kinda way now like I’m gonna be the “bad guy”, the strict parent, the one that always says no...
The more we talked, the more I felt like he thought that I’d be a bad mother and it just got me down. Cuz I already worry about if I would be a nurturing and warm mother one day and he just totally kicked me while I was down.

Answer

First of all this is a hypothetical situation so I wouldn’t be so hard on yourself. Second, typically kids go with the mother unless she is unfit or they are over a certain age where the court allows them to chose. Another thing to consider is majority of children crave structure, I am definitely the disciplinary parent, & I am a lot more strict but my son is such a mamas boy it’s crazy. Daddy’s fun, but if he’s hurt, upset, needs a snuggle, wakes up at night, he calls for me. I wouldn’t worry too much!

Answer

Honestly he sounds insecure, and I’m not sure why he would bring up this type of conversation. He needs to remember that you’re supposed to be a parent first and a friend last, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. Your kids may prefer to live with him if he’s not strict, but that won’t mean they’ll love you any less. At the end of the day, your kids will thank you for being strict when they grow up because you did your job. 😌

Answer

Its a dumb conversation to be having. Being a strict parent usually means you love your children so much that you want them to do their best and be their best and you're more protective. Being an easy going parent does not mean you love them more. I wouldn't want to be with someone who would make me feel that way.

Answer

So he's better because he's not actually teaching his children any type of discipline or responsibility?
Yeah alright 😂 
First of all, a parent who is too fun is usually a coward taking the easy way out. You are a parent! That's a lot of responsibility! Apparently, you are doing some of the hardest parenting. 
Which, you should be proud.
When your kids grow up, they'll benefit from having had structure and responsibilities. 
It seems like kids need both some autonomy to make their own decisions, but they really really need consistency and structure, especially when young.

Answer

The kids often do want to go with the “fun” parent because they either can or think they’ll be able to do whatever they want. You’re the disciplinarian it seems like. Eventually they’ll respect you more and have a closer connection with you because you are the one to go to when they need help. At least that’s how it often goes. But no I wouldn’t be upset. To me that just means you’re actually a parent to the kids and he avoids teaching them anything.

Answer

I don’t think it has to do with who the kids love more. They can still love you equally, but would rather live with your bf because he’s easy going. 
The way it ran through my head is like this : pre peeled crawfish vs un peeled crawfish. It’s the same crawfish but one is easier to eat. They taste the same, but one requires more work. If I had to pick I’d pick the pre peeled one. It has nothing to do with flavor, just how easy it was to eat.

Would you be upset..?

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