Triggered by death

I had two traumatic experiences with loved ones dying. The first was 4 years ago when I was in grade 11 and the other was 2 years ago. Honestly, I just don’t know what to do. I am fine like I’ve grieved, but whenever something on a TV show Happens where someone is in the hospital dying or somethinf I just can’t keep it together. I get anxious and end up having a panic attack and I just don’t know how to deal with this.