I left him and I’m afraid

He’s done so many unforgivable things to me and I’ve taken him back every single time! He’s put knots on my head, choked me, showed me vids of him having sex with other women when he got mad, blamed me for his cheating, I caught him walking out a hotel with another woman (the hotel was meant for my birthday), had women over to the house he said he got for my son and I, smoking and having sex with them. He bought me a car for my birthday but I only drove it 2 times before he took over. Stopped taking care of his son and we have another on the way. I’ve done everything for this man. I’ve went and got him out of jail, fed him when he had nothing to eat, lifted him up when he hit rock bottom, took on the weight as mother and father when he stepped down only for him to give another woman what I deserved. I don’t get a thanks for being a great mom to my son, only the same Mother’s Day message he sent to a woman he’s been fooling around with. He hasn’t spent much time with his son but had the woman’s daughter in the car with him. Stopped calling me beautiful and sending cute text but his text thread with the other woman is full of good morning beautiful. I’m broken and hurt. I’ve been through a lot with him but now that it’s at a point where I’m jealous of another woman, I’m done. He tried to beg for me back, telling me he wanted his family and for me to stay but I can’t do it. I’ll forever be miserable with him. I’m only 25. I’m trying to forgive for my peace but I start to think about everything he’s done to me and I just can’t. It’s like I want him to suffer and I hate him. I know it’s wrong but I’m tired. But today is Day 1 of my journey. Any advice on how I can keep myself from falling into his trap and going back.