Suffering with an Eating Disorder

Hello Ladies!

Since I was about 13 years old, I’ve struggled with Bulimia Nervosa. I am 26 years old now. For the most part, Ive always believed that I have it under control as I can go months without making myself vomit. However, when I do relapses, it can take me a few weeks to shake it off again. Anyway, I’ve really been struggling during the quarantine as I am working from home now, and i’m in the house all day with food. Especially when the quarantine first happened. I didn’t know what to expect, so I stocked my fridge with food. I’ve been trying to relax on buying a lot of groceries, but it can be expensive eating out everyday. But I don’t trust myself when there is food in the house. This is such a battle for me😩😩 some days I believe it best to just starve myself because deciding wether I should buy groceries or grab food overwhelms me and gives me anxiety as I do not know which is the best decision. Also, I live alone, which makes it so easy because I do not have to hide from someone or feel ashamed for how much I am eating. My family was aware that I’ve gone through this as a child, but they aren’t aware that I’m still (or have never stopped) going through this. My friends are unaware, and they probably wouldn’t understand.

Is there anyone else who suffers with an eating disorder and has also bee having a hard time during quarantine? Does anyone have any tips or exercises that I can try to strengthen my mind?

I’d prefer to take advice from those who either have suffered this, or knows someone who has suffered with this. Everyone else just says, “why don’t you stop!” And i’m like, “wow, I have literally never thought about that”🤔🙄😂