Emotional Rollercoaster that doesn't end well.

It has been a rough 2-2 1/2 weeks.

I'm new here, so a short back ground. I have PCOS, type 2 diabetes, am overweight and i have an underactive thyroid. I suffer with depression and anxiety. So when i test positive 2 weeks ago, i was thrilled but nervous. I had been spotting for a week, but it wasnt a period and my boobs hurt. This led me to taking a pregnancy test.

As i had been bleeding the gynae unit had me come in for a scan to check on the baby. Couldnt find anything. They told me it could be too early, that i had miscarried or it was ectopic. So i had to have bloods to test the difference in hcg levels (bet many of you have been there often enough!) And when it came back that the levels were dropping, they wanted to check what was happening.

So today i had another scan, should it was ectopic (the option i was dreading the most) and then had to have even more bloods to check the hcg, kidney and liver functions ahead of making a plan of action. As it stands its wait and see, with careful monitoring as my body seems to be "dealing" with it, naturally.

So in two weeks, I've gone from amazing news to the worst. Part of me feels like it's ridiculous to be grieving. Part of me wants to love and acknowledge my baby, however small she was, and despite only being 4/5 weeks. And overall i am angry and sad and confused.