Help! Sex is becoming a distant memory...

I need some opinions, please help! I’ve come across a few posts similar to the issue I’m having but not exactly the same and I finally decided I need to post and hopefully get some advice. This is the first time I’ve posted so I’m feeling vulnerable and exposed. Bare with me.

I recently had a baby, I say recently but the reality is I had a baby almost exactly a year ago. My husband and I have been married for a little over a year. We got married after I became pregnant but we’ve been together for 11 years and living together for 8. Now the issue... we haven’t had sex in almost two years. After we found out we were pregnant he all of a sudden lost interest, whether it was psychological or biological, I’m not sure. I did my best to empathize with how it must feel to be on his side of the pregnancy. Trust me with the added hormones it was so hard! I must have masturbated almost everyday of my pregnancy! My sex drive has always been high (higher than his) but during pregnancy it was practically torture. The last time we had sex was a week before we found out (so I’m erring on the side of psychological) and it was probably the best sex we had in years! It’s such a shame that it was our last time.

So, I tried my best to do the “right thing” by not making him feel bad about not being interested in having sex while I was growing a human. At least, I tried. There were days when I was an emotional wreck and craved the intimacy and let’s face it an orgasm so much that I had to say something. Days when rubbing one out was not doing the trick! We would talk it out, sometimes argue, and it would be done. Well like I said that was over a year ago. We’re coming up real close to a 2 year sexless anniversary. My thoughts and feeling about this are all over the place. I can’t help but wonder if my marriage is over? Am I doomed to exist in a sexless marriage for the rest of my life?

Of course, I feel how anyone would-unattractive and like a “ruined woman” since being impregnated and then tossed to side. To be fair we haven’t had a whole lot of opportunity given we now have a one year old. I can’t help but think though that if he/we really wanted to have sex we would find and make time. We have discussed it on a few occasions and his explanation it that he’s tired and scared of another pregnancy. In his defense before this pandemic...

...me thinking to myself “what a selfish bitch I am to worry about it at a time like this,” it’s gone on for so long now that I can’t help but reach out...

...he was working two jobs while I’ve stayed at home with the baby. He still has both jobs but one of them is still paying him even though they are closed. I’m so grateful for him taking on the burden of being the sole earner in our home and I feel like I should just bite my tongue and let it go. A small part of me can’t help but worry that this is a bad sign though and I also feel like maybe my needs aren’t important. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I should add sex for us 10 years in was not something that happened more than a couple times a month if I was lucky, anyway. So this was already a small issue before we got pregnant. Also, it took us almost 6 years to get pregnant. I’m not on birth control because I have a lot of really bad side effects when I’m on it.

Am I being selfish and should I just wait it out and hope things return to normal? Please help!!! I would gladly accept opinions from females, males and everyone in between!

If you’re still with me after all of that thank you so much for being patient and hell even just reading my post! 🙏🏻