Not happy

Disclaimer: I’m allergic to hormones so I can’t take most forms of birth control, meaning I’m currently using a combination of condoms and pulling out. When I tried BC I had an extreme reaction where I felt extremely lethargic and almost passed out several times which is how I found out about my allergy. I’m in a long term relationship of a little over six years though.

My months usually go like this:

First week after period: Happy. Genuinely feeling great, not worried, not anxious. Also the only time during the month that I feel well enough to have sex.

Second week: When I ovulate. Feeling down and sad, as well as hyper-aware of what’s happening in my body. I don’t have sex because obviously the risk is highest here.

Third week into new period: Genuinely terrible. Anxious, regularly having panic attacks in between (or during) extreme bouts of depression. Don’t feel like doing anything but laying in bed alone all the time.

So basically, I’m happy and feeling normal maybe 25% of the time. This may also have to do with my potential mental health issues (brother is diagnosed Bipolar) but this absolutely sucks.

My boyfriend and I have sex maybe three times a month if I’m lucky and feel up to it. Most of the time I want to be wrapped up in a big blanket and left alone. My mood is bad almost all the time and I don’t know if hormones would fix it or make it worse, but it’s not like I could find out.

I just want to know if I’m alone or if anyone else has this problem and what you’ve done to solve it. I don’t want to feel this way anymore.