I hate being a mom

I hate being a mom. I really do. I love my kids, but the constant anxiety and fear I feel is unbearable. I worry non stop over everything. I analyze every single thing my kids do non stop to make sure it’s normal. I have a fear my children will have learning disabilities, that they will get seriously sick and die, that they will choke and I won’t be able to save them, that they will die in their sleep. I track every single mile stone and if they are late I am in a frenzy. I take their temperatures multiple times a day. I knew I would worry a lot as a mother, but I didn’t think it would be this bad. Then I worry I will die, and my husband will get remarried and their stepmother will treat them horribly. I’m worried for when they are older, I’m worried they will get bullied. I’m worried for when they start driving they will get in a car accident. It’s freaking terrible.