Kind of having a hard time...

Whenever I pictured pregnancy, I pictured eating all my favorite foods, fulfilling my cravings, shopping for baby stuff, answering questions about my baby/how my pregnancy is going, sorry not sorry, getting a little attention in general. I’m not someone who like to have attention on them, but I was excited to have something to share with the world.

This pandemic has put a damper on a lot. I can’t go to my favorite restaurants, neither my husband or I have a job because of the pandemic so I can’t go baby shopping, I can’t even go in public and show off my belly and no one wants to come anywhere near me or talk to me because of the pandemic. I get it, I do. I’m just realizing how absolutely alone I am in this. I know I’m “not alone” but Jesus. I have no one to gush about everything to. My husband is excited, yes but all the girly shit ya know? I wanna talk outfits and play dates and swimming lessons but none of that will happen for probably at least a year now. I know people are literally DYING right now, I just feel so cheated out of my experience. I’m to the point I don’t know if I’ll have more children after this. It took me long enough to finally decide to have this child just because childbirth it ~actually~ my worst fear.