is it still controlling if i... like it?

Question

simple question really, is it still “controlling” if i enjoy it?
what do you guys think?
example: i can’t get caffeine after 5pm unless there’s a really good reason + approval for it (from my boyfriend)
sometimes it frustrates me (a coffee addict) but i sort of enjoy it cause it just lets me know that he cares about me (he knows if i have coffee after 5 i wont sleep til 7am) and all that
but, i feel like it’s not something i can tell anybody else or i feel like i have to “hide” it cause i’m afraid people will view him as some evil controlling pos ...
general opinions are more than welcome as well 😅

Answer

That’s not really controlling, however, if you need approval from him for everything, that’s an issue

Answer

Why not try decaf?

Answer

Sounds like you want a Dom/ Sub type of relationship.

Answer

Your example doesn’t seem controlling if he’s like saying you don’t want to do that, you know you won’t sleep.
Are there other examples? I guess there is a line to be crossed into worrisome controlling behavior

Answer

At the end of the day of that is what you like and you don't feel emotionally or physically abused by it, you do you.

Answer

I mean thats just looking after your health and making sure you sleep ok. As a coffee addict i can understand that, I actually stop myself after 2pm now. 
Are there any other examples of things you have to ask him for?

Answer

If it's also your choice, like you want a power exchange dynamic and you have the choice to do as you please in reality, it's not controlling. It's an agreed on set of personal parameters. 
If he's setting "rules" for you and expecting, coercing, or forcing you to keep to them when they aren't what you want, not controlling. Dictating you can't have coffee after 5 when you love a cup of coffee with your dessert, controlling. 
I believe control has to do with consent, harm and joy. Do you consent to it willingly? Does it harm you? Does it effect your joy? No? Rock on!

Answer

Sounds like you might be a sub, and if you’re into that you could talk to him about it and come up with an agreement like “I have to ask you permission for things, but if I stop liking it I’ll tell you”

Answer

I feel like whether or not that is controlling is dependent on what happens if you have that coffee. Whats his reaction, is it like a "babe, you know better " or will he punish you in some way?

Answer

If YOU know you won’t sleep till 7am then why not just be an adult that recognizes that about yourself and not drink it?... 
I would say it’s controlling in a bad way if he was to give you some kind of consequences.. like yelling at you or treating you badly if you did it.. but simply saying ‘don’t do that, you know you will be up till 7am..’ and then just getting over it if you do it anyway is a non-issue... but honestly, a partner shouldn’t need to play that role of reminding you to make smart choices.
It’s one thing to look out for a partner and make suggestions on topics.. it’s another to demand compliance and get to a level of anger or ultimatums if they don’t get their way with what they ask.

is it still controlling if i... like it?

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey