I am the one who wants this (he emotionally cheated, threatens to kill himself, hit stuff in front of our toddler and she mimicked it, substance abuse, etc.) but I’m having a really hard time with it right now.

We are legally separating for now but given all of the times he said he would change, go to therapy, drink and smoke less, not put me through emotional abuse, he hasn’t. It’s been almost 10 years. The cheating was about 2.5 years ago and we tried to go to therapy for it but since the therapist was telling him things he didn’t want to hear, we stopped.

I’ve been humiliated, bullied, and put through hell. The final straw was the stuff in front of our kid. I kept begging him to go downstairs so I could just put them to bed and then we could talk but he wouldn’t go and started getting louder. When we finally talked, he started to say he should just kill himself and that he would never let me be with anyone else and a lot of other stuff. I called the cops but they just made him leave and he came back a few days later with the usual promises to change.

I’m just putting all this out there because I’m having a really hard time with him moving out. I didn’t think it would be today after three weeks of begging him to look for a place. It took him less than 24 hours to find a place and get it once he finally decided to look.

I know this has to happen if he’s going to change at all. That I need to do all this to get him to take his behavior seriously.

But right now I feel so broken.

This is the right thing to do, right?