1 year postpartum weight loss-long read

I have gained more weight than I’ve ever in my life since giving birth. A couple weeks after birth I lost weight and fit into my pre pregnancy jeans. As I progressed with breastfeeding I noticed I was constantly hungry and would eat all the time.

I also had a traumatic postpartum in the beginning and that trauma has stayed with me. I do eat when I’m stressed or sad and that has been almost constant. I am getting better but suffered from ppa and ppd for 10 months of my postpartum. This caused me to not sleep unless I passed out and when I was staying up so late I would constantly eat.

I’m 5’3 and last time I weighed myself I was 238lbs, that was over a month ago.

I feel very uncomfortable in my body everyday. The more I look at myself or think about the point I’ve gotten to makes me completely unmotivated. The voice in my head says why even start when I’m going to be like this for the rest of my life. Why even start when I’ll fail in a week anyway.

With covid going on I’m not comfortable joining up with someone to go for walks.

I want to get to my pre pregnancy weight so I can have another healthy pregnancy in the future.

In all honesty I know I’m a very lazy unmotivated person. Disgustingly lazy.

We are lower middle class and that affects our food we eat. We don’t have fresh produce very often. Lots of casseroles, canned, microwave, boxed meals.

I feel like a daily as a mom and wife but this is what I have to work with.