My husband and I separated for problems we were having. I was not happy. I told him about this but it fell on deaf ears. After being away from him for a few days I decided that it would be better to try and work things out. At this point he pushed me away even though I came crying, begging, kicking and screaming, wanting him to want me to come back home. A month went by. He never once called and asked me to come back. I figured he was happy at home. He had our 10yr old son because of me being at my mom's house and not wanting to uproot my son just yet, in case I went back home. He seemed content with the situation as it was. But I needed answers. Didn't get any. So I told him I was going to go out and find another man to love me thinking that would wake him up. One night I decided to go out, after being in the house for weeks because I was off work due to a car accident. I ran into a guy at the bar. Turns out that we weren't complete strangers because he used to be one of the stars of our high school football team. We were drinking. He was buying me drinks. We both drank heavily. Turns out he was also separated from his wife. We connected on that level. Of course one thing lead to another and we left the bar together. A few weeks later I found out I'm pregnant. He immediately wanted me to abort it so neither of our spouses would find out. I was convinced that God makes no mistakes and could never bring myself to do it. All I could think about was the possibility of this being the girl I've always wanted. I have 2 boys, and the lifetime of regret that would follow seemed unimaginable. So a few weeks later I decided I was fed up with the separation and was going home because I truly love my husband and wanted to work things out. But what about the fact that I'm pregnant with another man's child, I wondered? God will give me the strength to deal with that when the time is right I told myself. One day the opportunity presented itself after being back home for a month. I had already went out and gotten an apartment just in case he blew up and told me to get out. But surprisingly, hubby said he couldn't understand why he was not angry with me and telling me to get out, but he was so hurt. Not angry. I explained to him that the other man wanted nothing to do with me or this baby, but that I would soon be telling his wife everything. He said all he could think about is not wanting me to go thru this alone and wanting someone to be there for me to talk to my belly and go to my appointments with me. He left the house to clear his head. He came back an hour later. We talked on the phone the whole time was gone. Wow. Not the reaction I expected. Days and days went by. It seemed as if we could make it thru this. He went to my gender reveal appointment. I told him prior to the appointment I wanted him there but on the day of, I told him I thought it was only right for him to choose whether or not he wanted to be there. He wanted to go. He told the nurses he wanted it to be a girl. He makes sure I eat and have money for different necessities. He's been so nice to me. He said I would never be alone in this and that he was there for me. We have not been intimate. Yet we've gone on lunch dates and I'm at the house everyday with him although I have an apartment. My oldest son went off to stay with his dad for a few months. I missed having my entire family together so badly so I went and made him come back home. The day I did that I guess things got too real for hubby. He asked what was going on and then went on to tell me that he never once said he accepted things. He said he still didn't know. I said what! It's been 4 months and you've treated me as if we could work this out. All his true feelings poured out at this point. He talked so down to me. He said the lowest things he could think of saying to me. I cried like a baby. 2 hours later he came in the room and apologized to me. He told me he loves me so much and that he is there for me. Now I'm confused all over again. Do you ladies think enough time has passed for him to either accept or reject me and this baby? Am I wrong for thinking that he had already accepted this fact? I know there will be a lot of haters who will read this and try to bash on me but I'm a big girl and I can take it. We all have opinions. I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read and comment on this post. I'm just so lost and really wanted to be situated before this baby comes. I only have 16 weeks to go and don't want to bring her into this world of drama and confusion. By the way, the Lord has blessed me with my first baby girl I've always dreamt of having. God is good!