I yelled at my one year old. I spanked him and put him in his room. I got so frustrated at my week and half old newborn today that I just stopped. I couldn’t. I put her in her crib and stopped. I’m a fucking terrible person. I asked myself why did I have kids. Why did I get pregnant right afterwards. I shouldn’t think of bad things like wishing I never had them but I did. Today I did and it breaks my heart. All I want is help. I just want someone to help me. I fucking hate my body. Which I shouldn’t even be thinking about but I can’t help it. I have always been fat but atleast my skin was tight. It feels like this skin isn’t even mine. I hope tomorrow is better because today was huge fail. I just need help.