At 39 +6 we went to the hospital to be induced (AMA and pcos). We arrived at 9 pm on sunday the 17th. I was only 1 cm dilated. I was started on cytotek at 10 pm and was given a dose every 4 hours for 24 hrs. At midnight monday night I was started on a pitocin drip and was only 2 cm. We thought I would progress more with the pitocin but that wasn't the case. At 930 am on tuesday I was only at 3 cm. I was trying to go as natural as i could so i hadn't let them break my water yet. The contractions were still bearable but I was ready to have my baby so we went ahead and broke my water at 1030.

Holy crap did things intensify!! I was not prepared for that kind of pain or pressure all at once. I thought I had read enough about tips and tricks to bear the pain. I had a playlist on my phone that I completely forgot about. The only tiny bit of relief I got was sitting on the toilet leaned back gripping the bar. It helped relieve the pressure alot. Then the nurse said I had to get back on the monitor and that's when I lost every bit of sense in my body. The pressure got so bad sitting on the bed and birthing ball, I forgot my entire toolbox of pain management tips. After an hour I gave in. Being a big bad tough Marine, i thought it'd be a piece of cake to breathe through the pain. Nope. I got the epidural.

Within 30 minutes I was at 10 cm. I was so mad at myself because I was so close and I didn't know because the nurse wouldn't check me before the epidural. My entire body started shaking uncontrollably like I had a horrible case of Parkinson's. Then came the leg cramp. My left thigh started cramping just below my butt cheek and it was almost as bad as the contractions.

After only 30 minutes of pushing, my miracle boy was laid on my chest skin to skin and I instantly became a new woman. He looked at me and I swear this big bad Marine turned into a mushy pile of goo and emotions.

I waited so long for that moment and went through so much to get pregnant. For years I walked around hating every woman I saw with a baby because I didn't understand why I couldn't have one. All I needed was a man who loved me enough to jump through the hurdles and make me believe it could happen.

My son arrived at 1239 pm on the 19th at 7 lbs 11 oz and completely changed my life.

He's now 10 days old and every time I look at him I want to cry. I'm trying to soak in every moment and detail because he's going to be the only baby I have and it's going to fly by so fast, I dont want to take any of him for granted.