I don’t get it!!

Since last year, we have being ttc our first child. We are both 34. I have a very regular 27-31 day cycle. I have had an HSG exam which was normal. I’ve tried Clomid. I’ve tried Letrozole. We tried sex everyday during fertile week. Every other day. The SMEP method. The vitamins. The teas. Preseed. Like legit everything. Heck, I even got a reading by spirit connections by Briana! And nothing! Not even a false positive. I was so positive this was THEE cycle of a BFP. Every negative thought I had I replaced it with a positive one. I truly tried to manifest our baby. AF showed tonight at work and I broke down. I couldn’t stop the tears. In the middle of my intubated patients room, I cried and couldn’t stop. My birthday is in two weeks and I don’t want to do anything. My heart is broken. I feel helpless. I told my hubby and even he couldn’t hide his sadness this time. Sorry for this post but I have no where to let out these emotions because none of our family and friends know the extent in which we are trying. I am just truly devastated. I know these emotions will pass but no one knows how mentally exhausting this truly is until you are going through.