Hurting

Long post alert

I’m gonna post the screenshots because I need perspective. I don’t wanna bother my friends or anyone else:

Background though:

Currently pregnant. Saturday night I was going to drop off the ultrasound pictures to my baby’s dad’s mom because I had gotten copies made. Well he asked me if he could feel my bump (for the first time and I’ll be 24 weeks on Tuesday). It made me so happy that after I left my aunt’s I decided to go over to his cousin’s house where he was to give him the pictures and let him feel my bump. Well, when I got to his cousin’s his brother and other cousins were there. I walked up and spoke to everyone and I noticed his brother giving him an odd look. Something told me that it wasn’t for a good reason, and instead of giving him the pictures and leaving, I stayed for a while. Yes, I was socially distancing. Well, me and her dad kissed when we eventually veered off for a bit so he could feel my bump and we could talk (it turned into more and I shouldn’t have let that happen 🤦🏻‍♀️). I feel terrible (and we’re not together, but we have history).

Sunday night I saw his friend post the picture in the screenshots below and now I feel like that’s why his brother gave him the look that he did. I asked my baby’s dad about it because Saturday night’s conversation made me feel like we could start somewhere again and work things out. He even told me before I left Saturday night to hit him up and I told him he could hit me up too because it’s not like he’s been doing that a whole lot himself. I do reach out to him with screenshots of the baby’s growth and stuff from this lovely app. He didn’t hit me up though, but I did hit him up around 6 ish (I knew he had to work until 2:30 even though I’m not sure if he went because he said it was overtime and not mandatory). Now, I get why... I’m just honestly sort of hurt, but I think these screenshots will suffice so I won’t have to type anything else...

The person that posted this on his story was also there Saturday night. The face blocked out is obviously the father of my child.

I know neither of us are perfect, but we are not always not getting along. It’s just when I’m emotional about something I’m overreacting in his eyes or he’s making me feel like my feelings are invalid. Well he has.. I haven’t been around much anymore to even get emotional around him. I honestly don’t see him as a bad person and I still really liked him and wanted to work things out to have a family, but now I’m just throwing in the towel.

I’m not saying he can’t have friends, but we haven’t done anything together like what he’s doing with her, and just because their not serious doesn’t mean they haven’t kissed. Their still hanging out and things could get serious between them. I have guys that I’m just friends with, I know one wants to take me out on a date, but I haven’t been around them and I told them that I want to either work things out with her dad or just focus on me and her. I don’t have the energy to start anything new. I def just don’t wanna be kept around though while he does him and could potentially get serious with this other woman. I don’t wanna be that kind of person. I’m sad because I haven’t gotten an invite by him to do these kind of things, but he... then has then nerve to say I haven’t said I wanted more with him. I’ve expressed it to him that I wanted to try 😞.

I just really need someone to tell me if I said anything wrong or anything 😔, even aside from the screenshots. Thanks in advance.