Finally ended things for good with my ex narc after almost a year of knowing him. Went NC. I've had depression for years since I was 13 so about 9 years now. Although in the past 2 years, it was much better. Now it's coming back full force after not speaking to him and knowing I'll never see or speak to him again. I feel better when I'm distracted but as soon as I'm not working or speaking to friends/family, I feel so much hurt and pain and helplessness on how to move forward and process this and find myself and grow. Has anyone been through this and know where to even start? I want to find myself and become a better, happier person and be productive but I can't bring myself to do anything. I stopped all my hobbies 3 years ago and it's been a struggle getting back to it although I finally drew something 2 days ago after ages but that's about it. Any tips would help because I'm pretty lost tbh.