Don't know how to feel 😐

So my story is I'm 30 years old and my husband is 36, been together since end of 2010, married nearly 4years.

We started trying for a baby only 3 months of being together as it felt right, then a month later my husband proposed, then got married 2016.

We have had no luck with pregnancy what so ever, so went to doctors as I had irregular and extremely painful periods, doctor referred me to hospital which took about a year and over the next 4-5 years of being messed around mixing me up with other patients transferring me to another hospital I found out I have PCOS and Adenmyosis.

I had laparoscopy to confirm.

I was then referred to a hospital in Manchester for IVF, but then at that time I had to reschedule the appointment for another time in future due to housing and financial situation wasn't right.

Then when we finally got back on track and my husband tells me he does want to go back under hospital or do IVF he wants to just keep trying naturally.

Now it's got to 2020 and my husband has now said he's getting too old to be running around after children, he did say if we do get pregnant then that's good and he'd been extremely happy, but now sex is non existent 😔.

And now to top it off my sister in law has just told the family that's she's 10 weeks pregnant which is great news but I just feel a bit numb about it all and can't sleep keep thinking about it.

Also the whole family seem to be like tiptoe around me with the subject and mother in law keeps ringing asking if I'm ok, but what can I say when I don't really know.

Sorry for the rant just don't have anyone who I can talk to about it all.