Wanting to conceive, wanting to wait, and needing someone to talk to

I didn’t know where to post this, but I think you ladies will be the most similar to me because you all want children as well.

So I’m 22, I’ve just finished my bachelors degree and am headed into the first of two postgraduate degrees that will take five years altogether. I have a fiancé and we’re trying to plan a good date for our wedding, it was supposed to be next April but because of covid-19 we won’t be able to save up enough money in time to have it then. So we’re going to have to wait. Then I want to have kids after I finish my degrees.

However, his best friend had a baby in April and named us the godparents. Which I was over the moon about, but for the whole pregnancy and now into my goddaughters life I am greatly struggling with the aching whole in myself because I am not the one with the child. I don’t know how to handle it and I don’t have anyone to talk to who understands that being a mother is an essential part of my life and waiting five years, while moderately essential, is killing me slowly. I spend a lot of time crying and would love advice or a person to talk to 💜💜💜💜

I also wish you all the best of luck in conceiving and bringing your children into the world 💜💜💜