***Edited to add I'd be super curious to hear your mans point of view too. If your man is interested in responding, that would be pretty awesome!!

Yeah yeah I know the porn topic makes everyone roll their eyes until their head explodes. But this is a curious question from a woman with extremely loooooow self esteem who doesnt understand why a man would think its "fun" to put porn on while being intimate with their lover.

My bf, like any other man alive, enjoys porn, maybe a bit too much. Private multiple instagram accounts, saved pics on his phone, messages back and forth with his buddies (which I thought was the weirdest, like your sending jerk off material to each other?) Dvds hoarded here and there.

Anyways, the first few times I tried to be 'sexy' for him, he reached over for the PS4 controller and started the porn DVD where it had left off last. We got a cheap motel room with a hottub for some sexy time away from the kids and i came out of the shower attempting to be seductive to see porn on the TV and him excitedly claiming "look what i found!!!" Kinda killed the mood for me since he was already hard before I got to him.

But anyways, the question. What exactly is so "fun" about it? If you know your man is turned on by something else, not you, how is that "fun"? I feel more like I'm just literally a hole to fuck while he is turned on by not me and I'm just the third wheel in the sexual encounter. I know a lot of women don't have any issues with it, so im genuinely curious how you don't get jealous or upset? Thank you for not being rude to the stupid girl with serious depression and self esteem issues that are tearing her apart.