Lately my husband has been extra awful. He's always been a very selective listener especially when I'm the one talking, but lately its gotten bad I'm literally repeating every little thing I say and have actually just tried to not talk bc of how unheard I am (last few months) I told him I'm going to start writing it down too just to prove to him its happening and his reply is "whatever" to everything.

We don't have kids, but somehow we're never alone. Its rare if we do something that's just the two of us I actually can't remember him actively trying to be alone with me unless he's trying to have sex. Now y'all probably think I'm up his butt about everything with constant complaints but I actually try to have normal adult conversations about our issues and again his responses consists of eye rolls and "whatever's."

I just mainly want him to want to be with me not just when its time for sex but to just chill with me and want to be alone with me. We used to be best friends now we might as well be a no strings attached "couple" who has a marriage certificate.

I've tried 100 times to talk to him and I've even brought up counseling and asking him what's wrong and I'm constantly trying to make his life better and easier and no I'm not perfect but the only time's we argue is when he just doesn't pull his weight like I respect him so much bc he has a hard job and he's been the only means of income since November 2019 but he literally said he hated me working. Now every chance he gets he shoves it in my face that its his money and he provides which I thank him for and he'll sometimes say "okay its our money." Its gotten to the point at times where I'm thinking about going to that court house... Everyday there's an issue that I try to resolve and I always just have to give up bc he I guess is too comfortable where he is and with how he is to even think about my feelings and how broken I've been. I do everything for this man. Every now and again when he realizes I'm extremely burnt out on the crap he'll offer something like "when I'm done doing (blank) wanna go swim?" Or whatever it may be that he thinks will change my mood or mind about everything. The twist to it is that it won't be us. It'll be him, his bros and family and me. Not to mention he forgets that we are supposed to be a team. He will take anyone's side over mine, especially another female bc he's scared of getting on others bad sides and the other women we know are hard core and will hold a grudge on him or something. He will 10/10 times take anyone's side over mine. It hurts so bad.... He will deny EVERYTHING. He's not even a mean person either like he's naturally so sweet and humble but I see the inattentive side of him. I'd rather be alone than have to be here and get ignored and emotionally ripped up. What haven't I tried??? I pray, I attempt adult conversations. Idk anymore.

Other examples of.. Him.

If I want something (never expensive, mainly like groceries and once a year maybe shoes or shorts) it 8/10 times turns into a lecture from him. But if he wants an airsoft gun though our car needs repairs and we need a new fence atm, its fine.

He will tell me I need to try harder (looks wise) bc I've gotten "too comfortable" but he won't shower or shave for weeks at a time and I offend him if I bring it up.

I can't have a gym membership rn ($10/mo) bc of me not having a job and the car needing work but he can have a ju jitsu membership ($50/mo) that he goes to 0-5 times a month.

I'm not allowed to have opinions especially around his sister inlaws bc he's scared it'll start problems which is insane to me bc no matter what anyone else says, they're right. In his eyes. Not me though.

He's such a happy, genuinely friendly person too. I guess I'm not worth it enough to him to be that way with me.