Am I the only one

So I have been married to my husband for 2 years and I laughed at him tonight for threatening our cats life. And he said that I won't be laughing when he kills her I told him I am such a dumb ass because if that int a red flag idk what is. Then he gotta mad and told me to shut the fuck up and watch the movie. I looked at his friend that looked at me and I looked at my husband and told him that he is being a dick and he better straighten up real quick because I will leave and take the cat and baby with me so fast. But I am so mad at myself because I know it's a bad relationship but I love him so much. Like I have ignored when he raised his fist to me . And I have acted like I didn't remember when he slapped me after I had an eplipsy episode. I acted like I was black out brink when he forced me to give him a blow job when I was really dizzy. I love him to death. I hope he will change which I know is stupid to say but I love him and I am miles away from any family. So I hope of I call him out more on his shit he might change