I always told my partner I wanted 3 children, our sweet little boy is almost 4 weeks old and I'm still having flash backs from parts of the labour that I couldn't remember.

I am terrified to have another baby and go through labour again.

My entire pregnancy was full of urine and kidney infections and I was worried how it would affect the baby but the midwife reassured me he was doing fine towards the end of my pregnancy.

At 39 weeks I went to see the midwife for a sweep but she became concerned as my bump was measuring small so I went for an emergency scan.

I had really low fluid levels and was booked in for an induction the following week.

At 40+3 I went into hospital and they put rods in me to soak up the fluid (although I already had low fluid in the womb) that was around 1.30pm on the Saturday. 12 hours later at 1.30am on the Sunday morning I began having contractions which were becoming more regular and noticeable. At 930am they took the rods out and gave me hormone gel as my body was struggling to dilate. I had been 1cm for days.

At 8pm Sunday I was meant to be moved to labour ward but 3 ladies went ahead of me because they were progressing quicker.

530am Monday morning I was moved to labour ward where my partner could finally join me. At this point I was still talking, bubbly, ready to get the show moving.

By around 10am I was in absolute agony as they kept increasing the Pitocin so I got an epidural, which failed 3 times and left me in absolute agony as they placed in my back wrong.

By 10pm Monday night I was absolutely exhausted and wasn't getting past 5cm, I began asking for a C-section because I had no energy left.

Around 1230am Tuesday morning, 47 hours after my contractions started, I began vomitting and my temperature spiked. I was then rushed into theatre for an emergency c-section.

49 hours after my contractions started my sweet beautiful boy was born at 2:39am on 26th May 2020.

I was pumped full of so many drugs and was absolutely exhausted that I don't remember much. I don't remember hearing his first cry, I couldn't hold him. I felt like giving up.

My son was rushed to NICU because he contracted an infection during labour, it turned out my waters had been slowly leaking for weeks and made my boy poorly. I lost a lot of blood during the surgery and also contracted an infection.

Due to Coronavirus my partner had to go home once our baby was born and I then spent a very lonely and long 5 days in hospital caring for my sick son. Because I was recovering from surgery I found even the most basic skills extremely painful, I couldn't change his nappy, couldn't lay him across my tummy. I missed those first moments.

My son had breathing issues due to his medication, doctors were concerned he had sepsis or meningitis and was jaundice.

It was the worst time.

Since being home I have been recovering well and bonding with my son.

On medical advice I cannot get pregnant for at least 18 months and my partner definitely wants another baby, but I am terrified to go through the process again.