On anon because I am embarrassed I feel this way but here we go...

I am due in about a week. We live in an apartment above my mother in law's house which we rent from her. She will still be here right after the baby is born but then she is traveling away for a week (yes, during a pandemic. Separate issue from the one I'm need advice on) about two weeks after the baby is born. Give or take obviously because baby's are wildly unpredictable.

My husband and I weren't only ok with this, we were super happy. We are very babied by our families, even when we insist they stop and that we are adults and can handle things ourselves, and it is always hard for them to leave us alone. They make us food, pay for random things, ask us extremely personal details about doctors visits and plans and then try to decide 'as a team's what we should do. My husband and I are easy going open books and try to let them love us how they want to. We are 30 btw so there is no reason for them to act this way, they just do. And we appreciate it even though we find it demeaning and embarrassing at times. But we were so excited to get to be alone, truly alone, as first time parents. Even for just one week. We aren't afraid we can't handle it, we know we have a support network should we need it.

Well, because we are open books we mentioned in passing to my father in law and step mother in law what my MILs plans were. Not shady, they are friends. It just came up. We didn't act abandoned or worried. We just joked that it will be nice for someone to be able to travel this summer and left it at that.

Well. They contacted her and asked if they could stay in her part of the house to help us out. 🤦 They didn't ask if we needed or wanted them there. Just set up their own thing. And of course she said yes because they are friendly.

Listen. I am happy for them to meet the baby. I know they are there if we need them. But my husband and I just want to be left the fuck alone. I can barely eat without them (all of our parents, not just his) questioning it. WE ARE 30. And even though we appreciate them helping us literally all the time we are constantly stressing how we are fine and don't need it.

So I don't want to be rude, but I don't want them there unless I call for them. It's not like any of our parents live far away, pretty much all within 45 minutes. If we really need them we know they are there. But I want to be able to breastfeed without a top on and let the apartment be messy and be able to cry without someone rushing in to fix it. And I don't want the constant pressure to do things their way.

Just for one week. Is that selfish? It probably won't even be the week the baby is born, probably will be a few weeks after. Just one week without the overbearing attention of our parents.

And I don't know how to ask for it without sounding ungrateful. We are so blessed. They are all so lovely and have helped us (whether we wanted it or not) so much. We get scared to complain about anything in a casual way because they all just rush in and fix it and that's not how we want to be treated as parents. We are capable and ready. And we know when to call for help. They are all near by. They don't need to take it upon themselves to basically baby sit us while we are learning to be new parents.

How do we ask them for what we need without sounding ungrateful or like we don't want them around at all. I just want this one week.