Need advice about visiting family during COVID19

Hi all, please only genuine advice and comments that are helpful, not judgmental.

It’s been hard being pregnant during COVID as I’m sure many of you are feeling too! I’m very isolated but honestly I don’t feel safe having it any other way. I am fortunate to have a job that has allowed me to work from home. Except for a few rare exceptions, my husband goes out and runs our errands (like getting groceries; that’s been his choice to protect me and the baby). I usually only ever go out for doctor appointments or for walks.

In a month, I will travel to see my family. I usually only get to see them twice a year because they live 1,000 miles away. I’m very nervous to travel but feel I would be heart broken if I don’t get to see them once before the baby comes. The last time I saw them was Christmas. We’ve already had to reschedule this trip once and if we can’t go in a month then we will have to cancel altogether because by then I will be in my third trimester and have been advised not to travel in the 3rd trimester. I’m due in December and I don’t think traveling such a long distance with a newborn will be easy once it is finally born, so if I can’t make this trip in a month, it will probably be 18 months until I see my family again, the longest I’ve ever gone without seeing them.

Last night my husband asked if we could spend 3 nights at his parents house next weekend before we go on the trip to see my family. He’s told me before that his family has not taken any precautions during COVID: they don’t ever wear masks, they’ve let people in and out of the house, as soon as restaurants reopened they dined out. I love my in-laws and of course I am sad that we haven’t seen them since Christmas because of COVID, but they only live 160 miles away and we have the option of doing day trips to see them any time of the year. I’m very scared of going to stay with them, knowing they have not been careful and worried I or my husband may be exposed, and if so, I will have to cancel the trip to my family and may not see them for 18 months.

I want to offer to visit his parents when we get back from seeing my family but don’t want it to appear I am favoring one family over the other. Just logistically, this trip to see my family is my one shot to see them before I give birth.

What do I do? Can I still go to his parent’s house safely? If not, how do I talk to him about it without showing favoritism to one family? Thank you