okay let’s start from the beginning. we met in 2nd grade. been friends ever since. didn’t talk after 4th grade because he moved schools🥺. middle school. 7th grade we reunited. he sat next to me in class and basically became best friends ever since the first day of school. then we started dating. 7 months. was the best for a middle school relationship :) we broke up . i broke up with him. my life was going downhill and i couldn’t keep it up. no matter how hard i tried it was bad for me. he didn’t want to break up but i had too. during the rest of the year i never talked or texted another guy. he had a couple girls here and there .

8th grade. we started texting again. no classes together. i got a boyfriend. ofc friends at first and stuff like that. except he was the worst. anger issues. no communication whatsoever. i ended that. thenn my ex texted me, he said he loved me. i missed him, im not gonna lie. i told him how i felt. but he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship. he was my first ever bf. so we stopped texting for a while. then boom. he got a girlfrienddd :/ lemme tell you now. that lasted for a year. i felt so betrayed yk. like WHAT THE FUCK. but whatever can’t do anything about it.

9th grade. saw him everywhere with her. i couldn’t stand it. so instead i just decided to be happy for him . i always caught him staring at me. i forgot about him. i texted hellaaaaa guys at the time. then fast forward to march. they broke up . then quarantine started. he textedme first. just a simple how you been and stuff like that. mind you my mom just joined thr military so i was telling him i’m moving inna couple months. then all of a sudden all my feelings came back. couple weeks went by, facetiming and texting non stop. he confessed all his feelings. he never stopped loving me. but the only thing in my head was that girl he was with for so long. i told him i loved him. 😣 then boom back together. he came over . nothing bad. then he started coming over like all the time now. i’m in too deep. i’m moving in a week. i don’t want to go. i’m scared of what may happen. but he told me he’s willing to do long distance because he loves me that much and things like that. but why did it have to be now. i’m leaving for three years. like i want to be here with him, him by my side during those three years remaining years of high school. i don’t know what to feel , but i feel numb. i don’t know why. i don’t know what to do.